Gifts
by Dellruby
Summary: The team go to a new planet, and are given gifts...not exactly what they asked for! No Ship, no whump, just fun!


Gifts

The team stepped through the gate out onto another new world and took their first look around. There were open fields and a lake off to the right, and on a small hill, what looked like a fairy tale castle, with mountains in the far distance.

"Looks like Disney Land" remarked Col. John Sheppard.

"What's Disney land?" asked Ronon.

"It is a land that a man named Walt Disney dreamed up, where anything could happen and did." answered Sheppard.

"I'm not sure I really understand what you mean?" Teyla said

"A place where fire breathing dragons lived, and where there were knights in shining armour with magic swords!" he answered

"Oh great, so what you could sprout fairy wings, and I could turn into a Smurf?" snarked Rodney.

"What is a Smurf?" asked Ronon

"Like a blue gnome with a white hat." Sheppard smirked. "Don't think they were Disney, but it was a fun cartoon."

"Is it spring here do you think?" asked Rodney.

"I don't think so, there are apples on that tree." Teyla answered.

"But there is blossom on that one over there." supplied Ronon.

"I'm all itchy" complained Rodney.

At that moment there was a loud roar in the distance, and they turned to look in that direction. Out of a stand of trees they hadn't noticed before, burst a man dressed in silver holding a sword, followed by a large green dragon complete with wings and fire coming from its gaping maw.

"Didn't see that one coming." remarked Sheppard.

"What's wrong with you?" Ronon asked him.

"My back's sore." He answered rolling his shoulders

"John!" Teyla called.

"What is it?" he asked turning. "Oh, that can't be good!"

"What? Why are you looking at me?" asked Rodney as he continued to scratch his arms and neck.

"Are you having trouble breathing?" asked Teyla.

"No." Rodney answered. "At least I wasn't until you asked."

"You look….. blue" Sheppard told him.

"Sheppard." Ronon asked. "Are you alright? You look sort of hunched there."

"I don't know. Damn this jacket is uncomfortable!" He proceeded to take off his flak jacket, then his leather jacket followed it onto the ground. Almost as soon as it hit, a ripping sound was heard, and Sheppard let out a cry of pain and arched his back.

"What is that?" asked Teyla.

Ronon looked from Rodney, who was now a lovely shade of blue, to the area where the Dragon had last been seen, then back to Sheppard and said

"If I was a betting man, I would put money on a set of fairy wings."

"What?" yelled Sheppard who now had a cute little pair of pale gold wings sprouting from his shoulder blades.

"Oh." Said Teyla

Rodney looked down at his hands and muttered

"I really am turning into a Smurf." then he glanced at Sheppard, whose wings had grown significantly.

"Could be worse!" he said with a smirk.

"Rodney!" Sheppard said through gritted teeth.

"I get 3 wishes right?" Rodney asked.

"That a genie, genius!"

"Ronon?" said Teyla

"Yes I know, don't say anything."

"That is all very well, but what are we going to do about this?" asked Rodney

"I think the first thing is to report back to Atlantis, so they don't send anyone else through. Rodney, can you set up a link and dial the gate please." she asked him. Within minutes they were talking to Atlantis via a video link.

"Colonel Carter, we have come across some problems on this planet, and suggest you don't send anyone else through. It may be some time before we are able to come home."

"Why is that, Teyla? And why isn't Col. Sheppard telling me this?"

"He is…" She looked over to the Col. who was wearing a black t-shirt, BDU's and combat boots, with a lovely pair of gold fairy wings that stood a good foot above his head, and fluttered slightly as he twitched his shoulders."…busy" Teyla finished lamely.

"With what? Doesn't look like you are in danger, I see no signs of stress in your posture."

"Oh for goodness sakes!" said Rodney stepping in front of the camera.

"There is something about this planet that creates….that turns….Look, I'm blue right? Until we work out what the hell is going on, best not to send anyone else through."

"Is Col. Sheppard blue too?" asked Sam, who was doing a very good job at hiding the grin that was growing inside her.

"No." said Teyla

"He has golden wings." supplied Ronon with a smile.

"He has what?"

Sheppard let out a sigh and stepped into view.

"Oh my!" said Sam, who put her hand up to her mouth to try and smother the laughter she could feel rising in her. Seeing the gesture annoyed Sheppard which in turn set his beautiful wings fluttering. Sam lost control and dissolved into peals of laughter, which annoyed Sheppard even more, and made his wings flutter so much that he started to lift off the ground.

"Damn it!" he said with clenched teeth as he tried to walk away, but with no success since his feet were no longer on the ground. He moved his arms in a sort of swimming motion and managed to manoeuvre himself out of shot of the video.

"Ronon, get me down please?" he called.

Ronon choked back a laugh and went to help his friend, grabbing his leg and pulling him down again. Once on the ground, Ronon grabbed a cord from Sheppard's discarded flak jacket, and tied it round his friend's waist. With the other end he made a loop and slipped it over his hand.

Rodney snickered, "Just like a kid who doesn't want to lose his balloon!"

"Rodney, please, you are not helping." Teyla admonished. She turned back to the camera.

"Col. Carter, are you there?"

"I'm here." a hand was raised into view, and was followed moments later by the rest of her.

"Sorry, I….dropped something." she managed to get out.

"Uh-huh. We will report back to you soon Col. Carter, Teyla out."

"Ok, can't wait." Said Sam holding her sides, and the video link was cut.

"That went well." remarked Ronon with a smile.

"Ronon pass me your gun please?" asked John.

"Why?"

"I'm going to start shooting people soon, thought it might be nice if I have the option of stun."

"I suggest we go and see if there is anyone in the building over there." Said Teyla, the voice of reason. They started out in the direction of the castle

"Those are some lovely wings you have there Col." remarked Rodney.

"I'm not kidding Rodney, I will shoot you!"

"No you won't, too much paperwork, I distinctly remember you saying that after the last time."

"There's less paperwork if you're dead." He said through gritted teeth.

"I seriously doubt that." Rodney said happily secure in the knowledge that his friend wouldn't shoot him. Sheppard only became aware that he was airborne again when he felt a tug on the cord around his waist.

"For pity's sake!" he growled. Ronon tugged harder on the cord as he walked, and Sheppard bobbed along behind him.

Finally they reached the large gate which was standing open in the outer wall on the castle. They walked, (or floated) in and found themselves in a large dirt courtyard.

"Ahh, I have been expecting you." said a rather rotund man who was sitting on a gold and red velvet throne.

"Who are you? "asked Ronon.

"Me? Well I am the Wizard, The Grand Master, Father Christmas, The Ancient One. Whatever it is you want to call me. I over see this wondrous world!"

"Wondrous? I'm blue for heavens' sake! How is anyone going to take me seriously if I'm blue?"

"You did this to me?" demanded Sheppard as he drew his sidearm and aimed it at the man.

"You do not like it? But the images came straight from your own words and minds!"

"I didn't ask for these!" John waved his free hand back at the offending wings. "And I'm damned sure McKay has no wish to be blue, cute hat though."

"Yeah, thanks for that Tinkerbelle."

"Loaded gun in my hand McKay, watch yourself."

"You do not want to be able to fly?" the fat man asked.

"I do fly. I fly jets, gliders and ships. I don't want wings on my back!"

"And the colour is not to your liking either?" he asked turning to Rodney.

"Why would anyone want to be blue?"

"Hmm perplexing, I clearly saw these images in your heads."

"Word association doesn't mean we have any desire to change colour or grow…..extra bits" McKay concluded as he saw the gun nudge in his direction.

"I see." the man answered.

"Is that it? You see? I want to know what you're going to do about it. I want to get rid of these things!" yelled Sheppard. He was having trouble keeping his aim true because his wings were fluttering so much that he was darting from side to side, and up and down.

"Going to do? Why nothing. As long as you are here this is how you will be, but your wings will not follow you through the portal, they are a gift of this world, no other!"

"Are you telling me, they will be gone as soon as we go through the Stargate?"

"Yes, but whenever you return they will again be yours!"

"Ronon, take me to the Stargate, and we will never be coming back here!"

"Why didn't Teyla or Ronon get 'gifts'?" asked Rodney

"I only saw confusion in their minds at the time. Next time there will be gifts for them as well."

"Seriously, I don't think there will be a next time." Muttered Rodney as he turned to follow the others out of the courtyard, and back across the field.

"Is that Gate dialed yet?" Sheppard barked at McKay.

"It will be, don't worry, I want off this planet just as much as you do." He said as he dialed

"Ronon, get me down from here please, I don't want to be bashed on the top of the gate when you step through."

Ronon chuckled as he pulled on the cord bringing his friend down toward the ground. As soon at the gate was dialed and the IDC had been sent, they stepped through.

On the other side Rodney checked his hands and was pleased to see them back to their usual colour.

Sheppard quickly untied the cord from around his waist at the same time as he turned his head to check that the wings were gone.

"Colonel, good to see you back, I look forward to reading your report." Sam said with only a slight trace of a smile. He gave her a look that clearly told her where she could put her report, and stalked out of the gate room.

"You are looking well Doctor." She said turning towards McKay.

"I'm locking that address out!" Rodney muttered as he, too, left in a hurry.

Sam turned to Ronon and Teyla and raised her eyebrows. It started as a snicker, but before long the 3 of them were laughing so hard they had to lean on each other to remain standing.

The End.


End file.
